March 19, 2026
Another sleepless night. Another night filled with pumping, tears, and a kind of guilt I don’t even know how to explain.
My fiancé is still away, working, doing what he needs to do for our family—but I am angry.
Not because I don’t understand… But because I need him.
And he’s not here.
People keep reaching out, calling, texting. But I don’t want to talk.
I don’t want comfort from anyone else.
I just want him.
After almost 27 long hours, the doctor finally called with the scan results.
I listened. I took notes. But my mind… couldn’t process it.
Brain bleed.
Different grades.
Medical terms that suddenly became my reality.
Even reading my notes back, it doesn’t feel real.
Today broke me.
There were thoughts—dark ones—that I won’t even write down.
This day felt like something out of a nightmare.
Reflection
There are moments in life that don’t feel survivable. Moments that shake you so deeply, you don’t recognize your own thoughts… your own strength… even your own faith.
But even here, in the fear, in the anger, in the silence—you are still here.
You are still showing up.
And sometimes, that is the strongest thing a person can do.
The Eloira Effect 
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