The Eloira Effect

I can’t believe it’s April already.
Today, I would have been 26 weeks pregnant.

Even though Eloira is here, there are moments when my mind forgets.

I catch myself rubbing my stomach… or having brief moments where I think she’s still inside me.

It’s a strange feeling.
Like my mind hasn’t caught up with reality yet.

It’s been hard.

I feel tired, stressed, unmotivated, and emotionally drained.

I don’t even feel like pumping. Even though I know I need to.
Even though my body hurts from not doing it.

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My milk supply is low. And that discourages me.
It makes me feel like—what’s the point?
My feelings are all over the place.

I miss my fiancé.
I want my baby home.
I want to feel whole again.